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What if you're afrad of both?

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I don't think that I'm afraid of failure. I don't think that I ever have been. I'm always doing something before thinking about it too much. And yet.... 

There are things that I've still never done because...not so deep down I now I'm good at it and that it would require me to be responsible and commited and organized and faithful to keep the ball in the air so to speak. It's a lot harder to be successful than it is to be a failure or at best mediocre. I'm not ok with failure. And I hate mediocrity even more and yet....

im still processing what keeps me from jumping all in. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I'm also not alone. I married to a great cheerleader and I have a community of friends that keep me straight. And yet... 

my dreams are not yet realized. I am not living at my full potential. I have the right things all laid out..:schooling, books I've read, website, business cards, mentor, coach,blog. i have nice workable plans and goals all written out. It's like I've bought a car. Filled it with gas. Have my license. And then walk everywhere. I am moving. But not how I could be. Why?

im afraid I'll be really good at this life coaching thing. I'm afraid that I'll have to maintain something that will be bigger than I am.  

I think fear of success and fear of failure are kind of the same monster. We don't try because we don't want to fail. If we are successful we have to maintain so we don't fail. so really isn't failure the possible end result to anything we do? Can we ever win? Does fear have to be a constant battle of the mind? I'm not sure I have the answer for that yet...at least not for my own life. 

I do know that I want to succeed. I want to be really great at life coaching. I am good. I want to get better. I want people to seek me as a coach.  

Have I failed as a coach by being so vulnerable in this blog? I don't know.  

I have to trust me. I have to trust God. I have to follow my heart even if it looks big and scary to catch my dream.  

I want to succeed. I want to be great and do great things.  

I can.  

I will.  

Melissa LapinComment